HAIL TO THEE, O SEAHAWK FANS! IT IS I, MOSES, HERE TO PREDICT THE UPCOMNG SEAHAWK / slacker PLAYOFF GAME!!!!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

“We’ll take the ball and we’re going to score.” -Matt Hasselbeck after winning the flip in overtime the last time the Seahawks played a playoff game in Green Bay.

NUMBER OF THE WEEK:

21….. The amount of points the Seahawks beat the Redskins last week (WOW! Just like someone’s old number… creepy, eh?)

THIS WEEK’S SPONSOR:

This week is brought to you by our sponsor, The Green Bay Fudge Packer. Do you have a need to compress your fudge as tightly as possible? Why not try a Green Bay Fudge Packer? The Green Bay Fudge Packer will help you compact your fudge as tightly as possible with little mess and only a small amount of fuss. When you feel like you want to pack fudge, only a Green Bay Fudge Packer will satisfy you.

Brett Favre Laxatives not included.

LAST WEEK:

How dare the Seahawks crush the dreams of those emotional Redskins! WE ARE HEADED TO THE SECOND ROUND OF THE PLAYOFFS AND ARE 11-6!!!

Last week the Seahawks provided a fair amount of emotion courtesy of their 12th man to combat the emotions the Redskins had regarding their own 12th man deceased safety Sean Taylor and sent the Redskins prematurely home before their much anticipated showdown with the Cowboys.

Oops… Sorry to spoil your plans, fellas.

The only ‘21’ felt this game was the 21 points that the Seahawks beat the Redskins by. Of course, ‘21’ was indeed there in more than just spirit. I refer, of course, to Seahawk defensive back Kelly Jennings who play very well.
The Redskins learned in Seattle that the only spirits affecting the outcome of games in Qwest Field is the Spirit of their OWN 12th Man and their deafening roar when opposing offenses are on the field.

But as the Redskins return back home to apply Sean Taylor for sainthood, let us look forward to:

THIS WEEK’S PLAYOFF MATCHUP:

SEATTLE VS. GREEN BAY

The Seahawks leave the friendly confines of Seattle to tread upon the “FROZEN TUNDRA OF LAMBEAU FIELD”.

(Ring….ring….. Ring…ring….. Chris Berman??? Chris Berman??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone….)

The Packers enter this game with a mind blowing 13-3 record, which was enough to give them a well deserved bye week last week. This coming from a team that many people thought would be about as exciting to watch this season as watching milk curdle.

How in the name of Paul Horning did this happen?

Well, having the 11th best defense in the NFL certainly didn’t hurt.
Defensively, the Packers were stout against the run (14th in the NFL) as well as against the pass (12th in the NFL).

BUT……

The big headlines over the last few years for the Packers come from its offense. It should be no surprise that the Packers have ridden in on the arm of the never aging Brett ‘Retirement is for losers’ Favre.

Brett Favre has put together another memorable season this year. He has 28 touchdown passes, and also leads the league in love letters sent to by John Madden.

Not bad for someone who contemplated retirement before the season started.

In fact, Brett has made the issue of his possible retirement the last few offseasons the hottest topic in Wisconsin since the great “Gouda vs. Cheddar” debate of 1947.

Each season, Brett mulls retirement both privately and publicly while Cheeseheads around the country hold their collective breaths (and crackers). They all wait, the team waits, John Madden waits…EVERYONE WAITS!

And then, he emerges from his self induced non-hibernation to announce that he once again will be slinging the ball and shooting those childish smiles that make Tony Kornheiser’s heart flutter.

After all the debate, all the examination of every word he says, every scrutinizing of his body language when he is out in public…… Well, nothing really changes.

When I examined why he decided to stay in the huddle another season, it became as clear to me as a Bobby Engram third down catch why he decided to stay.

So, here from our offices located John Madden’s man crush comes……

TOP THREE REASONS BRETT FAVRE DID NOT RETIRE AFTER LAST SEASON:

3. THE CHEESE IN WISCONSIN IS SIMPLY THAT MUCH BETTER THAN ANYWHERE ELSE.

2.MIKE HOLMGREN TOLD HIM NOT TO.

1. FEAR OF HAVING TO SIT IN A BROADCAST BOOTH NEXT TO JOHN MADDEN

BUT….

Despite being the man in Green Bay, without Holmgren, Brett Favre has yet to return to the Super Bowl.

But for now, Brett Favre is still the Leader of the Packers.

And that title segues into this week’s:

SING ALONG WITH MOSES!

This week, I rewrite the classic 1964 song by the Shangri-Las. So, get out your bouffant wig, find your favorite poodle skirt, and sing this week’s song (sung to the tune of “Leader of the Pack”) :

Does he really have one?
Well, there he is, Let's ask him.
Holmy, is that a Super Bowl ring you're wearing? Mm-hmm
Gee, it must be have been great coaching him.
Is he gonna lose Saturday? Uh-uh
By the way, how will you beat him?
We’ll beat him on Saturday Night
He’ll throw the ball, we’ll intercept
You get the picture? (yes, we see)
That's when the Seahawks beat
The leader of the Packers.

The AFC was always putting us down (down, down)
They said our conference was full of clowns
Whatcha mean they said we had a conference of clowns?
Brett Favre well he‘ll be sad, Cause I knew he would be sacked
That's how the Seahawks beat The leader of the Packers.

One day Hass said, "Try something new"
He’ll throw touchdowns by the slew
Whatcha mean Hass said that ya better go try somebody new?
He stood there and asked me why, But all Favre could do was cry,
I'm sorry I hurt you
The leader of the Packers.

Brett Favre will smile and them he’ll be dropped
The wear and tear is beginning to show
As he drove downfield on that Saturday night
The Seahawk defense put on a show
But whether he audibled, we'll never know
Look out! Look out! Look out! Look out!

He fell so helpless, what could he do?
Brett Favre’s playoff dreams were now through
The NFL all stopped and stared, I can't hide the joy, but I don't care
He should have retired
The leader of the Packers

The leader of Packers - now he's loss
The leader of Packers - now he's loss
The leader of Packers - now he's loss
The leader of Packers - now he's loss

BUT…..

The Seahawks come into this game in familiar territory. This is their third straight year playing in the second round of the playoffs. Yet despite this constant success, as I type this over 75% of the country polled no a certain sports station still think the PACKERS are going to win.

I guess I should not take it too seriously. I mean, look who the public has leading the country…

(ring…ring…… ring…ring…. George W. Bush??? George W. Bush??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone…)

Of course, it wasn’t long ago that the Seahawks found themselves playing in Green Bay in the playoffs. It was four years ago, and the Seahawks were playing in the playoffs for the first time in YEARS!!!

So, we should be understanding when, as the Seahawks win the toss in overtime, their young and excited quarterback could not help but blurt out his confidence while the country watched at home and turned to each other and said, “Did he just say what I THINK he said?”

Be that as it may, Matt Hasselbeck has provided us with this week’s:
TAKE A CRACK AT THIS PHRASE!!!

This week, I take a crack at the following phrase…

“WE ARE GOING TO TAKE THE BALL…”

….here we go!

WE ARE GONNA TAKE THE BALL AND….WE ARE GOING TO PUNT IT BACK AFTER THREE PLAYS.

WE ARE GONNA TAKE THE BALL AND….WE ARE GOING TO GIVE IT A NICE HOME.

WE ARE GONNA TAKE THE BALL AND….WE ARE GOING TO GO HOME

WE ARE GONNA TAKE THE BALL AND….GIVE IT A SHINY NEW COAT OF PAINT

WE ARE GONNA TAKE THE BALL AND….REPLACE IT WITH A WATERMELON

WE ARE GONNA TAKE THE BALL AND….KEEP IT UNTIL YOU PAY FOR OUR BROKEN WINDOW

Really, the Packers and the Seahawks have a lot in common. Think about it. They gave us Matt Hasselbeck. We gave them Ahmad Green. We hired Mike Holmgren from them. They hired Sherman Smith from us. The Packers are known as an organization that is partially owned by its fans. The Seahawks fans take great delight in OWNING the opposing offense each week.
How will this all turn out?

MOSES’S BURNING QUESTIONS OF THE WEEK:

WILL THE SEAHAWKS TAKE ONTHER STEP TOWARDS SUPER BOWL XLII?

WILL BRETT FAVRE TAKE ANOTHER STEP TOWARD FOOTBALL IMMORTALITY?

WILL SOMEONE PASS THE CHEEZ WHIZ???

SO, CAN THEY DO IT?

MOSES PREDICTS:

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 27
Green faced slackers 16


SO LET IT BE WRITTEN, SO LET IT BE DONE!!!

--MOSES



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